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Thank You for Smoking Quotes

  




Requested in Movies & TV by Write On
edited by Write On

23 Quotes

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Kid: My mommy says smoking kills.
Nick: Oh, is your mommy a doctor?
Kid: No.
Nick: A scientific researcher of some kind?
Kid: No.
Nick: Well, then she's hardly a credible expert, is she?


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BR: This... environmentalist (subtitle: Pussy)
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BR: Bitch! (after reading article damning Heather)
Nick: Whore.
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Jeff: Sony has a futuristic sci-fi movie they're looking to make.
Nick: Cigarettes in space?
Jeff: It's the final frontier, Nick.
Nick: But wouldn't they blow up in an all-oxygen environment?
Jeff: Probably. But it's an easy fix. One line of dialogue... 'Thank God we invented the... you know, whatever device.'
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"Polly works for the Moderation Council. A casual drinker by the age of 14, Polly quickly developed a tolerance usually reserved for Irish dockworkers. In our world, she's the woman that got the pope to endorse red wine." - Nick Naylor
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"You know the guy who can pick up any girl? I'm him. On crack."
- Nick Naylor
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Joey Naylor: Dad, why is the American government the best government?
Nick Naylor: Because of our endless appeals system.
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"Gentlemen, practice these words in front of the mirror: Although we are constantly exploring the subject, currently there is no direct evidence that links cell phone usage to brain cancer." - Nick Naylor
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"The man's a genius... he could disprove gravity." - Nick Naylor
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Nick Naylor: Now what we need is a smoking role model. A real winner.
Jeff Megall: Indiana Jones meets Jerry Maguire.
Nick Naylor: Right, on two packs a day.
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BR: Oh, I heard the Heather Holloway article is coming out tomorrow.
Nick Naylor: Really?
BR: Yeah, anything I should be worried about?
Nick Naylor: Yeah, the Cancer Association. Apparently they have it in for us (the cigarette lobby).
BR: Fuckers.
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Polly Bailey: How about it Nick, are you a tit man?
Bobby Jay Bliss: Don't answer that, that's a trap.
Nick Naylor: Depends on the tits.
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"My other interviews have pinned you as a mass murderer, blood sucker, pimp, profiteer and my personal favorite, yuppie Mephistopheles." - Heather Holloway
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"Now we'll take a break. I need to fire a call screener." - Dennis Miller
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"You're the Sultan of Spin!" - Joey
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"I just need to pay the mortgage (mumbling... The Yuppie Nuremberg defense)." - Nick Naylor
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"The message Hollywood needs to send out is 'Smoking Is Cool!'" - Nick Naylor
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"These days, when someone smokes in the movies, they're either a psychopath... or a European."

- Nick Naylor
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"Please don't ruin my childhood (when Nick comes to his class to speak about his job)." - Joey
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"The rest of you people go slam your fuckin brains against your desks until something useful comes out!" - BR
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"Few people on this planet knows what it is to be truly despised. Can you blame them? I earn a living fronting an organization that kills 1200 people a day. Twelve hundred people. We're talking two jumbo jet plane loads of men, women and children. I mean, there's Attila, Genghis... and me, Nick Naylor. The face of cigarettes, the Colonel Sanders of nicotine."

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