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Why does everyone like that asshole so much?


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The Shield Quotes

  




Requested in Movies & TV by Write On
edited by Write On

44 Quotes

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"Call 911 and ask for Detective Blow Me!" - Shane


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"Excuse me while I get a Kleenex for the rest of this sob story." - Mackey
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"Eatin' ain't cheatin'." - Shane
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"I don't speak ebonics, shithead!" - Mackey
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"Looks like you wandered into the wrong prayer group, Frosty." - Shane
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"I don't step aside. I step up." - Mackey
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Singer: Who are you guys?
Shane: Your biggest fans.
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"Put your clothes on, get out of here, and change your taste in men." - Mackey
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"The truth is like grits. You can't serve it up plain. You gotta put a little salt on it." - Shane
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"Pack up your shit and get on the first donkey back to home." - Mackey
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"Ay, Mo. Your sister's ass really tastes as sweet as Alvarez here says it does? He wants to know what your mama's putting in the corn muffin." - Mackey
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"Wipe those smiles off your faces ya shit heads. You don't score points with me bagging twelve year olds." - Mackey
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Mackey: Hi. I'm detective Vic Mackey.
Cop: These your men?
Mackey: It depends. What did they do?
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Claudette: The evidence is lacking.
Mackey: So is Dutchboy's dick but I'm not helping with that.
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"Good cop and bad cop have left for the day. I'm a different kind of cop." - Mackey
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Romero: I'll put my hand on the Bible.
Wagenbach: Not as much fun as putting your hands on another man's wife.
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"It's bitches like you that make this job hard for the rest of us." - Danny
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Wagenbach: I am mature and distinguished - a lot of young women appreciate that.
Claudette: You really ought to cut back on the porn.
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Curtis: Do we have a warrant?
Shane: Just my winning smile!
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"What? You think I speak European hick?" - Shane
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Aceveda: You're going to free a murderer so his mob boss can kill him?
Shane: It sounded a lot better the way Vic explained it...
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Aceveda: I'll go play good cop.
Wagenbach: I've already played good cop!
Aceveda: Well, I'll play better cop.
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Claudette: Ooooh... Busting crime one blunt at a time.
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"From now on when I say 'Suck my dick" you say 'You want me to lick your balls, Daddy?'" - Antwon
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Mackey: I'll never forget what you guys did for me.
Curtis: Don't worry, we won't let you.
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Wagenbach: You're too young to quit.
Claudette: And I'm too old for this shit.
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Mackey: You better figure out how much you hate me and how you're going to deal with that cause I'm not going anywhere.
Claudette: Neither am I.
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"When was the last time you saw your dick without using a mirror?" - Wagenbach
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Shane: Can I get your autograph, man?
Mackey: Yeah, like on a confession?
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Lauren: They brought us out here because of a song?
Mackey: Just think of it as quality time.
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Shane: So if I'm a cocksucker...
Ronnie: What do you mean "if"?
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"Why does everyone like that asshole (Mackey) so much?" - Wagenbach
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"Well maybe in your own mind, amigo. But in the real world I don't answer to you. Not today, not tomorrow, not even on Cinco de Mayo." - Mackey
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Ronnie: They take skin from your butt (for a graft)...
Shane: These jokes just write themselves.
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Aceveda: Going undercover as dirty cops. Do you think you can pull that off?
Mackey: We can try.
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Suspect: I'd like to see a warrant.
Mackey: And I'd like to see Anna Kournikova naked on a waterbed.
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"Hey, if you want me to back off all you gotta do is tell me it wasn't great." - Mackey (to Danni)
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"Hey Mo, does your sister's ass really taste as sweet as Alvarez here says it does? He wants to know what your mama is puttin' in the corn muffin!" - Mackey
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Mackey: You'll get my report in a couple days, maybe a week. If you don't like the timetable you can take it up with Gilroy.
Aceveda: I don't have to. In this building I'm in charge.
Mackey: Well, maybe in your own mind amigo. But in the real world I don't answer to you. Not today, not tomorrow, not even on Cinco de Mayo!

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Suspect: My father's a lawyer.
Mackey: Mine was a bricklayer. So what!?
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Aceveda: She's the mayor's financial advisor.
Mackey: Well, someone's conducting a tongue audit between her legs.
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"Let me remind you of a few things you seem to have forgotten. I didn't kill Terry, you've lost your leverage with Lem, and your ex-wife's pussy tastes like sweet butter."

- Mackey
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Wagenbach: Ronald Everett Gardocki, you're under arrest.
Ronnie: For what?
Wagenbach: The last three years.
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Olivia: Do you have any idea what you've done to me?
Mackey: I've done worse.

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